Take a deep breath...Remain calm....This is really happening. You and one of your best friends just had the talk. Yes the painfully uncomfortable talk where it is revealed your friend is now seriously dating someone you have said awfull things about with THAT friend.
But relax, this isn't your fault, its your friend's fault for falling into the bear trap we call a Quarter Life Crisis Relationship. There is no way he or she would be dating that person five years ago. So how could you know it wasn't safe to point out the obvious flaws of some socially inferior person? So don't panic (you will), and please don't say "Oh once i got to know X he or she really impressed me or X just didn't give a great first impression or X really grew on me." It will come off insencere and is giving your friend a pass on his or her terrible choice.
That conversation would never take place in college. Why? You always knew your friend was interested in someone. They would either tell you or get embarrasingly drunk in front of the person of interest. But college is over, and reading the inner workings of a Quarter Lifer is much more difficult. You see Quarter Lifers are a jaded, weathered and damaged bunch. Even if they truly like another person, the guarded armadillo like Quarter Lifer will only courageously reveal "he or she is allright." So here is a normal progression of comments a Quarter Lifer will make in the weeks leading up to a Quarter Life Crisis Relationship, if you can recognize this pattern you can avoid those awkward talk with your friends in the future:
But relax, this isn't your fault, its your friend's fault for falling into the bear trap we call a Quarter Life Crisis Relationship. There is no way he or she would be dating that person five years ago. So how could you know it wasn't safe to point out the obvious flaws of some socially inferior person? So don't panic (you will), and please don't say "Oh once i got to know X he or she really impressed me or X just didn't give a great first impression or X really grew on me." It will come off insencere and is giving your friend a pass on his or her terrible choice.
That conversation would never take place in college. Why? You always knew your friend was interested in someone. They would either tell you or get embarrasingly drunk in front of the person of interest. But college is over, and reading the inner workings of a Quarter Lifer is much more difficult. You see Quarter Lifers are a jaded, weathered and damaged bunch. Even if they truly like another person, the guarded armadillo like Quarter Lifer will only courageously reveal "he or she is allright." So here is a normal progression of comments a Quarter Lifer will make in the weeks leading up to a Quarter Life Crisis Relationship, if you can recognize this pattern you can avoid those awkward talk with your friends in the future:
"I mean, I know she sucks but you would hit it right? She's cute right?"
"He or she IS in pretty good shape"
"I mean yeah he or she spent the night two nights in a row, but he or she knows the deal. We both do"
"We went to dinner.....I paid..... but I mean its cheaper than a strip club."
This last line is always followed with an extremely uncomfortable laugh. Not only is this a terrible joke but both people know that one party is days, if not hours away from entering a QLC Relationship.
Come back as we further dive into the dynamics of a QLC relationship and answer the questions: why do QLC relationships always last 7 months? why do people find themselves in QLC relationships? and most importantly are you in a QLC relationship?
No comments:
Post a Comment