QLC Relationship, the conclusion of a 3 part series

Today, in America, millions Quarter Lifers will discuss/rip a fellow Quarter Lifer that has found his or her way into a QLC Relationship. But there is no reason for these Quarter Lifers to panic or show faux concern (a common trait of QLs). While a QLC relationship might be a terrible thing it only has a shelf life of 7 months exactly. Below is the exact pattern every QLC relationship follows.

Stage 1: Could this be Love?

• 1st to 3rd Month


• the two Quarter Lifers spend every free second together


• 90-94% of the conversations b/w the two love birds regard sex, sexual parts, things you want to do during sex, and how great each QL is at sex.


• Friends talk "could he or she really marry this person?"

Stage 2: Who is this person?

• 4th to 5th Month


• Still spend every free second with each other


• 50-55% of conversations deal with sex


• 40-45 % of the time spent getting to know your QLC Relationship mate. And its not pretty. Wow out of nowhere the Quarter Lifer sees faults, annoyances, questionable character that might have been pushed to the back burner due to the riveting and relevant doggy style discussions of the past three months.
  
  While this recognition occurs, this QLC Relationship still has legs and at least a 2 month fight left in it. You see this Quarter Lifer fancies themselves a mature relationship person and has also acquired a penchant for regular sex. So this QL will craft a great illusion about their relationship. While most would describe the Quarter Lifer's companion as annoying, insane, or boring. The Quarter Lifer will say he or she is "really interesting", "one of a kind", or an "elitist."

Stage 3: Its sooo Over

• 6th Month


• No its not......the 6th month is always when the first "break up" occurs. This "break up" usually last 4-7 days. During that "break-up" Usually friends of the Quarter Lifers make the huge mistake of letting the QLer know how terrible their "ex" was. This is usually a respectable move but just a month too early.

Stage 4: When it all Falls Down

• 7th Month
• 5% Sex Talk - But these are negative comments about the other's performance or possible weight gain (common in a QLCR).


• Spend little time together


• This month is typically highlighted with non-stop fighting, at least one public embarrasment and realization "holy shit this has been 7 months, I'm in a QLC relationship!" But I tell this Quarter Lifer who cares? All that matters is you never put yourself or your friends through another one of these again. Take some time, decompress, get that QLCR stench off of you and take comfort that you have avoided any "weekend projects" for a good two to three years.